Outcome
by NeverMessWithTeddyBears
Summary: "They're all gone." Natasha says into his chest. It's so quiet that one could barely make it out, but it makes Bruce's ears ring. "I know." he says.


**Outcome**

* * *

Natasha can't breathe.

She's been struggling for hours now, barely keeping it together, but as she's walking down the corridors of the Wakandan palace, she finds herself losing her beat.

She has to pause, to stop. Just for a moment. A second, even. Just to put herself back together. But her training isn't letting her, the voice in the back of her head reminding her to stay focused, that the mission isn't done, that wallowing in self-pity won't help anyone. It's that battle that makes the weight on her chest even bigger, and she feels like she's drowning.

She's almost willing to.

"_Natasha_." the voice seems so far away but the familiarity of it brings it to the forefront. Her already racing heart constricts and slows down slightly, but the calmness doesn't take hold like it usually does when Bruce is near her. She's too far into her panic attack for it to be enough.

"Natasha." his voice is so clear now, so strong, and she looks up to see him. At one point she's leaned herself against the wall of the hallway, probably the only thing that helped her stay up. Bruce approaches her slowly, as he would a frightened, wounded animal, and spreads his arms towards her. "It's okay. It's just me. I'm here."

Suddenly, the voice in the back of her head telling her to keep it together goes silent, and Natasha finally lets the tears go, falling into Bruce's hold.

Her sobs makes Bruce's blood go cold. He's never seen her break like this. Never thought he would. His heart clenches; there's nothing more he wants than to take her pain away. He puts one hand around her waist and uses another to caress her hair, leaving a kiss on the top of her head. Tears have left marks on his cheeks already, and new form in his eyes. "I'm here." he faintly whispers, but it's the loudest thing she hears.

"They're all gone." Natasha says into his chest. It's so quiet that one could barely make it out, but it makes Bruce's ears ring.

"I know."

It took them so long to trust each other as a team. To coexist as some type of dysfunctional, makeshift family. The thought of having lost them; the memories of them disappearing in front of their own eyes with just a snap of a finger... Bruce knows it'll fuel his nightmares for years to come.

"Just- just like. _That_. Disappeared." Natasha moves away from his chest to look up at him. He cups her cheeks, using his thumb to dry her tears. "I thought I'd lose you. That I'd be next."

Natasha looks into his eyes and knows he felt the same thing. Knows he feared for her more than anyone, more than himself. It's still so surreal to her, having someone who she cares about this much and who cares about her unconditionally, with their whole being. She could never get used to being cared for, before. But now, it's like a warm blanket wrapped around her on a cold night, a constant cloak of strength and protection she would never choose to be without, and she'd fight like _hell_ to not have it be taken away.

Bruce shakes his head lightly. "I'm here." he reassures her. "We're here."

Natasha brings up her hands to put them on Bruce's. They're shaky, but calm down when she touches him. She moves her cheek closer to his palm, closes her eyes for a second, letting more tears falls. Before she opens them, she kisses his palm and goes even closer to him. She has to feel him all over her body; it's the only thing keeping her sane.

Slowly, she moves her hands up his arms and up his neck, gently running her fingers through the small curls there before she mirrors him and cups his face between her palms. She allows him that same moment of pain she's had, and Bruce leans into her palm and kisses it, eyes closed. She wipes his tears away.

Bruce doesn't want to break the moment, but he has to. Natasha's never been one to put things off, so the fact that she still hasn't brought herself to take charge of this shows him it's something she needs his help with more than she's ever needed it. One of his hands goes to search his pockets and he brings out a phone. Natasha knows what he means.

"I _can't_.." her voice breaks. The mere thought of what this means, of the pain it could bring her, scares her more than anything's ever scared her. "If I call-"

"It'll be real." Bruce finishes. "I know, Nat. I wish we didn't have to. But no matter how much it'll hurt, it's always better to know."

"What if no one picks up?"

A tear falls down his cheek, but his voice is strong. "We'll deal with it. You know that, Nat." he says, taking her hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "We'll make this right."

Natasha nods. "We always do." Bruce smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes, no matter how hard he tries.

Natasha takes a deep breath and takes the phone from Bruce. She knows the Bartons' number by heart, could dial it with her eyes closed. She puts the phone to her ear and waits, not letting go of Bruce's hand.

Clint was back with his family. He was happy. Lila Kate was getting so big, he was even teaching her how to shoot a bow and arrow – and from what he's told Natasha, she's been damn good at it – and all the kids were just content. He stopped taking missions, but Laura kept up her practice and Natasha's still grateful for how she's helped her in the past; after New York especially, how Laura's therapy sessions were essential for her to find a way to move past the fear of the uncontrollable that was the Hulk, or the guilt of Sokovia.

She doesn't want to think of them being gone. Natasha doesn't think she'll survive it, no matter Bruce's reassurances; no matter the hand she's holding that's still somehow calming her.

She grips the phone so hard her knuckles turn white, and with every ring that passes unanswered, her heart breaks.


End file.
